Tomorrow is Senior Seminar @ St. John Bosco. Eh, I'm excited.. but not. I hope I have at least one person that I requested in my group. I also believe that it will be odd if I am in 45's group.. he's a group leader. EH. He and Lynette are leader partners and I requested Lynette (along with Soulmate, Pho, and Joan). Hopefully everything works out. We have to be @ SJB by 8 am and I'm carpooling with Soulmate. I'll guess I'll get to Cypress around 7 am and perhaps we will get Starbucks. We might even meet up with Phoebe in Buena Park/La Palma/Cypress (LOL).. but we couldn't discuss it because Pho wasn't at school today! LUCKY!



Kimba: Your eyes are a window to heaven. Your smile could heal a million souls. Your love completes my existence. Youre the only other half that makes me whole, your the only other half that makes me whole! Lol, I hope you feel better! Let's venture and purchase Simon and Garfunkel tickets!

Last night, I realized something. Any moment in my life in which I feel sad, angry, and/or dejected is a waste of my time and life. I don't need to be around people that make me feel less than I am. I don't need others treating me as if I were lower than they are. I hate the fact that you made me question my self worth. I hate the fact that I let you and your pathetic life get to me. Don't take your shit out on me. If I were to stop doing all of the things that I do for you (the things I did because I wanted to and because I looked out for you) you would be no where. You cannot function on your own. You would be one of those species that would make themselves extinct due to their lack of productivity. It's simply a matter of principle. No one should ever feel down and out because of someone else or because of something someone else says. No one should ever question their self worth because of what someone else says.

It's hard to go home when you know it's no longer your save haven.

Damn. Last night was not a good night. Thanks to my fah-fah-fah-friends for being so supportive and willingness to listen to my ranting. "I love you's" to: Kat and Phoebe!


Finally, Friday has come! Half day.. ahwhoohoo! Bleh, I have mucho homework though:

Hrm. Okay.. perhaps I will assemble my new computer now. TA DA! =)

I hope you have a nice day.

As I wrote that list, another thought came to my mind. Don't live with regret, don't live with hate, don't say things that you don't mean. Live like there would be no tomorrow and as if you would never see the person next to you again, because you might not. I don't know why, but last week I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about my Lola (RIP). I kept thinking about the last time I saw her and I couldn't remember what I said to her. I started to cry and think about what my last words to her were. I couldn't remember if I kissed her when I saw her last, and I was frustrated because I did not get to see her before she went into surgery. I was just angry because I couldn't remember anything about the last time I saw her. I don't even know when it was. Then, a lot of old memories kept popping up into my mind about her. I regret not talking to her more, not being with her more, not making an effort to really know her. And if anyone know's me, this is why I hate the feeling of regret.

I do believe in a higher power, but I still don't know why she had to leave us so early. The situation made me question my faith, my life, and everything that I believed in. That was almost two years ago. Her 2 year death anniversary is coming up on November 20, 2003. Currently, I still don't know where I stand concerning religion. I guess her death prompted me to mature a bit quicker. I am the eldest female cousin on that side of my family and it was hard seeing my younger cousins have to deal with it. My relatives were all unstable at the time and I was unsure of what to do with myself and younger my cousins. It's also hard knowing that they won't experience her culinary expertise, her small out-of-the-blue gifts, her funny accent, all her unique traits.. ever again. I'm amazed that I made it through that experience. I had a pretty bad outlook on life immediately after I found out. But.. a few months after her death, I finally realized that all of our minute tasks and seemingly important events really don't matter. I realized all of the truly important things in my life. What matters is family. What matters is how you treat others. What matters is how you view your life. The few above paragraphs explain a little bit about how I view my life... now maybe you should re-evaluate yours.